We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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