I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize