I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
