I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
