3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
