I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
