Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What a dumb baby whore.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Randomize
