haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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