my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
