Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
