does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
