Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
