my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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