so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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