Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
