Can i not drive my cunt home
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
