my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
