He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
