Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
