I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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