nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize