I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
COCAINE IS GR8
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
