Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
