That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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