Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize