does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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