Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
