She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
