My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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