I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
