jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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