You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if only i could text you this smell
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
