stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i think my cat just said my name.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
