he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
