idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
