Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
