Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
