i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
