Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
