still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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