I showed him my bush... on skype.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
