You're my little dorito
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
