Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
