the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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