Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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