I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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