So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
