.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
