Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
