yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
