I'm so fucking centered right now
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
