I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
