Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
