i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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