I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
