I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
