My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
