Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
