Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i've created a new STD.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
