how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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