I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
